Food jokes
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
My boy best friend needs to have this app rn
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.