What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
Weβre bananas!
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
