Food jokes
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
Memes
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
I have no problem getting dates online. Iβve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What do you call a boy Panera Bread?
Panera Balls.
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
Weβre bananas!
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.