Food jokes
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
What is the best item at a Mexican Burger King?
Hopper Jr.
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.