Food jokes
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
When a cookie πͺ wins a race, what will the crowd say?
βChip Chip Hooray!β
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
Memes
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
Weβre bananas!
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!