Food jokes
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
Panera Bread.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other one is just a watermelon.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"