Food jokes
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do you call a boy Panera Bread?
Panera Balls.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
What type of flour do orphans use?
- Self-raising.
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
We’re bananas!
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.