Food jokes
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor.
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
Eating a clock is so time-consuming.
Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."
The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Why can’t orphans go to a family restaurant?
Because there’s no family.
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
McDonald's :)
What snack do aliens like?
Mars Bars.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.