Food jokes

Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!

I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.

I had a horse named Mayo, and sometimes Mayonnaise.

How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.

What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?

"Thanks for coming."

What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?

2 slices of Brad.

What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?

A Shawarmano Cameldo!

Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.

Why don’t old people have sex?

When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

Why can't Asians play baseball?

Because they ate all the bats!

Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"

I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!

Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*

Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.

What type of flour do orphans use?

- Self-raising.

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.

Wanna hear a joke about corn?

Never mind, it's too corny.

What do you call a cow in the snow?

Chilli Beef.