How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?
Cheddar!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
Butter believe it.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
