Food jokes
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
What do Greek people never want to have on their food? Grease.
Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Memes
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"