Food jokes
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
You pecan do it!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?
A Panera med.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
In America, you have Pop-Tarts. We in Germany here have Toastbrot.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.
Panera Bread.
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!