Food jokes
Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Nutella.
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
I love eggs!
Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.
Oh wait, I am.
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.
Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
Do I do the same for dinner tomorrow morning for you?
If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Dude, your last name sounds like a seafood shop, Jordan C.!
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.