Food jokes

Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.

How do you saw an apple with no mouth?

A P P L E

What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?

WiFi chips or his shoulder?

I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.

The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"

The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?

The MIC Donald's drive-thru.

What’s the best math equation to eat?

Cosine Law.

Kaas.

Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?

Why don't heterosexual men want to suck bananas because they taste like octopus and squid?

My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Yo hairline be looking like a chicken nugget, headass.

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂

I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.

It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

Charlie likes big, black chocolate.

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

Why does Blake eat cake? Because Caleb can't.

Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.