Food jokes
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
What is the difference between a human and a burger?
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
What’s the hardest part of a veggie to eat?
The wheelchair.
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
Where did the cake sleep on the stove?
In a pan.
Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Nutella.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?
Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)
I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).
I gathered some "slapies."
The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!
I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!
I feed it to them!
They overreacted!
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Bye!
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.