Food jokes

Have you tried eating a clock?

It's time-consuming!

I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.

I know a baby carrot when I see one.

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!

Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?

A: IHOP.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?

Beets.

A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”

The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”

Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.

Beans, beans, beans. Say what? Say beans, beans, beans.

What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.

What is a milk?

Milk!!!!

How does a cow introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

Want to hear a joke about pizza?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪

I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."

What do rappers like cantaloupe?

Because they’re always dropping fresh MELON!