What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
The waiter recommended the rug meal.
She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door?
He was dressing.
Oh, he needs some milk!
The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
The Cheerio Joke
Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.
So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.
The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."
Jesus is what he eats!
Shit!
I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?
Because he kneaded the dough!
