Food jokes
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
Why can't people eat pizza? Because they will be unavailable.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
What do you call a Panera Bread you write with?
Panera lead.
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.
Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.
What do you say to an upset German?
Quit being such a sauerkraut!
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but instead they got plain!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.