Food jokes
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
What flour do orphans use?
Self-raising flour.
How is spinach like anal sex? If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Hey paps, BONE-appetit!
(Just eat your spaguetti.)
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Haloomi."
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer