Food jokes
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
Strength
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
Why was the cookie angry? Because someone ate the chips!
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?
Panera Dread.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?
A gingerbread man.
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
Your mum eats cabbage.
I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.