Food jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nacho.
Nacho who?
Nacho Cheese!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?
"Who's the special today?"
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.
What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked!
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.