Food jokes
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock.
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo.
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
Let me tell you a joke about pizza!
Never mind...
It's too cheesy.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call an alligator that likes donuts? A donutator!
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.