Food jokes
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
What is 6 inches and long?
A Slim Jim.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
Do you like fish sticks?
If you do, you're a gay fish.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
What do you call an orphan at the dinner table?
Family dinner!
Umm, Tyrone did not get his chicken.
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.
Nah, they eat emo meals.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?