Food jokes
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
You pecan do it!
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Memes
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.