Food jokes
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
I'mma cashew outside!
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
You pecan do it!
Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.