Food jokes
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
Where do you get milk from? The Milky Way, of course!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
Yo momma so fat, her ankle broke and gravy poured out.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
What type of cake can't orphans eat?
Home made.