Food jokes
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Memes
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
I'mma cashew outside!
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
You pecan do it!
Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
Aha, tomato macaroni is bad, hahaha.
(I don't even know what on earth I put here, but okay.)