Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
Food Jokes
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
You pecan do it!
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.
