Food jokes
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
Why is there A/C in hospitals?
So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.
What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.
The legs are soft and delicious.
How much can you earn in Selkan Toko Na Sinsel? Njpopularnijssa bronia jost. My grandma was already eto nasaba of the other sachan without me. Then you will be satisfied.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!