Food jokes
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.
Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.