Food jokes
Why did the lettuce win the race?
I can’t stand jokes about Germans.
They’re the wurst.
Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
Memes
eat up
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
Why were the Twin Towers made on 9/11? They ordered pepperoni pizza but got plane.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
My Butterfingers slipped.
What do you call a drivable Hamburger?
What?
A Hamborgini.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
What's the most delicious city in the world? Hamburg.
Some guy: making a sandwich.
Me: *rages* to put the ham in!
What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say, "Toasted cheese!"
What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.