Food jokes

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!

What is the best time to eat dinner?

When you're hungry.

What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.

What did Mrs. Hotdog join after Mr. Hotdog joined LGBBQ+? The LGBBQ++ premium.

What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.

What happens when you eat a cat?

I love to eat cats for dinner!

Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.

I can’t stand jokes about Germans.

They’re the wurst.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.

How many potatoes to feed the elephant?

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?

They both have red circles on their bodies.

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

Did you know the food that was on the plane?

It was the bomb.

You know what they call pineapples in Paris?

I don't know, what?

Anus.

What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??

Milkshake.

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Me: I'll have a steak.

Waitress: How would you like it?

Me: Immediately!