Food jokes
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?
Because they already ate their supper.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.