Food jokes
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
What did the blond say about the new iPhone?
Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs? Lean beef.
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.