Food jokes
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
Memes
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Yo mama so fat, Bill Gates went broke trying to buy her dinner.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Yo mama so stupid,
she thought DUNKIN' DONUTS was a basketball team.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?
Because they already ate their supper.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
We must start a propaganda for baked beans.