Food jokes
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
Memes
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁
Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.