My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
Food Jokes
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
