Food jokes
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
There is an upside to being an orphan.
Every bag of chips is family size.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.