Food jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Why is this true?
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"