Food jokes
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
We must start a propaganda for baked beans.
Yo mama so stupid,
she thought DUNKIN' DONUTS was a basketball team.
Yo mama so fat, Bill Gates went broke trying to buy her dinner.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."