Food jokes
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
Memes
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.