Food jokes
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
What is the difference between a human and a burger?
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
Would you like some wine with those French cries?
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
Bread is racist.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.