Food jokes
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
What’s the Twin Towers' favorite kind of pizza?
A: Plain.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Memes
me eating with my famliy
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.
An apple gets picked.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving Five Guys before it became a restaurant!
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Why do orphans dip their cookies in water?
Because their dad never came back with milk. Ohhhhhhhh!
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.