Food jokes
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Memes
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"
Why do orphans hate apples?
Because they get picked over.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.
An apple gets picked.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!
What did the blond say about the new iPhone?
Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
I fucking love rhubarbs.
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆