Food jokes
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Wanna hear a joke about cheese? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
If you people find this confusing, nothing is because CHEESE IS CHEESE!!!
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
What's a cannibal's favorite place?
A day care.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!