Food jokes
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Memes
The ham is in fact processed
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?
They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns.
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.