Food jokes
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
Memes
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.