Food jokes
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
I make baby mush.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Memes
The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.
What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.
What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.