Food jokes
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
What do you call a united cow? A united steaks! 🤣🤣🤣