10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Food Jokes
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
I heard a joke about chocolate.
It wasn’t that funny.
I just Snicker-ed.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe... Breathe..."
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
