Food jokes
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
when your mom finds out you pour milk before cereal
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Madden Whiffen, a curious soul, With an appetite beyond control, A bottomless pit, never satisfied, Ingesting all that's placed beside.
From dawn till dusk, he feasts his way, Devouring meals without delay, With gusto he consumes, without restrain, Every morsel, every crumb, he'll obtain.
No dish too large, no portion too small, His hunger insatiable, devouring it all, From succulent meats to delicate greens, He relishes the flavors, savoring each scene.
A culinary adventure, forever he embarks, Sampling cuisines from all walks and arcs, From street food to gourmet, he seeks it all, His palate an explorer, on a constant sprawl.
He savors the spices, the textures, the taste, In a gastronomic journey, no time to waste, For Madden Whiffen, the food is his muse, A symphony of flavors, he'll never refuse.
But caution, dear friends, in this feeding spree, For gluttony can lead to a troublesome plea, Madden Whiffen, beware the consequences, For overindulgence brings no recompenses.
In the realm of cuisine, he reigns supreme, A legend of eating, a man of extreme, Madden Whiffen, the one who eats it all, In his gastronomic pursuit, he stands tall.
So let us marvel at his voracious might, As he devours dishes, day and night, For in Madden Whiffen, we witness the feat, A man who eats everything, a culinary elite.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.