Food jokes
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
Memes
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
The snack that smiles back: Ball sack.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.