Food jokes
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
They ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!