Food jokes
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Memes
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.