New Food Jokes - Page 171 - Worst Jokes Ever

You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.

What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?

A cold shoulder.

A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.

You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.

And together, we are pho-ever.

What did the meditating egg say?

A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!

I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.

There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.

His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"

The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"

I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.

What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?

Chunky Tomato Soup.

I saw a bear eating a duck.

It was unBEARable.

what do you call a baby in an oven?

my next meal.

I think you're eggcellent!

Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.

So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."