Food jokes
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
What is China's favorite restaurant?
The Pet Store.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
You look like a burger.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.