Food jokes

What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?

"Haloomi."

What's the difference between a bird and jam?

You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.

Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.

Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.

If you were a food, what would you be?

Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."

Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."

Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."

Corn flake.

Bread?

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.

If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."

What did the Indian say to the fat man?

"Curry up!"

What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?

Finger food.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈

At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.

What's the difference between sand and food? Africans have plenty of sand.

Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.

Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.

Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.

Do you like fish sticks?

If you do, you're a gay fish.

What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?

Little Seizures.