Food jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack?
Vegetables.
What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?
One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.
What's the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Haloomi."
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
Corn flake.
Bread?
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."