Sand

Sand Jokes

Beach

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?

"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"

Sandwich

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"

Friend

Why was the kinetic sand always happy?

Because it was kinetic with its friends!

Dildo

What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.

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  • Funeral

    I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

    Desert

    Why will we never get hungry in the desert?

    We have lots of sand-which's.

    Wave

    What did the other wave say to the other wave?

    "Nothing, they just waved!"

    Friend

    I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.

    Ocean

    What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.

    Hawaii

    Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?

    She washed up on the beach.

    Blonde

    There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.

    The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.

    The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.

    The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

    Memory

    A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

    Camel

    The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

    "Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

    "And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

    "Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

    "And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

    "Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

    "But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"