Food jokes
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic? Free dog food.
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?
A Krispy Kreme Mac.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
I eat ass.
I know a baby carrot when I see one.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.