Fire jokes

Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.

How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!

What did the fox say to the fire?

You look hot!

Osama bin Laden back from the dead!!! 💣💣💣💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🌇

A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.

"Dick, you're fired."

"I'd buy that for a dollar."

What happened when the fire used Tinder?

He luckily got a lot of matches.

What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.

Apex Legends: exists.

Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."

LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?

Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?

Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!

A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.

Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?

Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.

Store owner: But still, why?

Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.

Store owner: Oh, I get it now!

I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.

Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.

A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"

"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels.

I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"

How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.

How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?

Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.

Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.

Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).