Fire

Fire jokes

Cremation

    • I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

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    • Blonde

    • Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"

    Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"

    The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:

    "Fire!"

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    • Bus Driver

    • Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

    Man's friend: Same.

    Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

    Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

    Man: Oh great heavens!

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    • Fire memes

    Kid

    • What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.

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    • Military

    • A girl kept looking through the window whilst the boys got changed!

    I, as a boy, was getting annoyed, so I found an interesting magazine in the corner. So, what did I do? Reload and fire!

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    • Job

    • Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.

    He was fired from his job.

    Girl

    • Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."

    So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"

    And then she died.

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    • Crash

    • This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"

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    • Dinosaur

    • Walk The Dinosaur-By watersharky Productions and Was(Not Was)-

    Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

    It was a night like this forty million years ago I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

    I met you in a cave, you were painting buffalo I said I'd be your slave, follow wherever you go That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars You fell asleep, I stayed awake and watched the passing cars And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

    One night I dreamed of New York You and I roasting blue pork In the Statue of Liberty's torch Elvis landed in a rocket ship Healed a couple of leapers and disappeared But where was his beard?

    A shadow from the sky much too big to be a bird A screaming crashing noise louder than I've ever heard It looked like two big silver trees that somehow learned to soar Suddenly a summer breeze and a mighty lion's roar I killed the dinosaur, I killed the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur

    Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

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    • Knock knock

    • US Marine: Knock knock!

    Al Qaeda fighter: Who's there?

    US Marine: (Kicks down door, throws grenade, opens fire) FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!

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