Fiction jokes

What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?

A ginger with friends.

Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

Why did Naruto run fast?

Because he tried to get away from himself.

Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?

Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.

Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?

Palpatine: Stew it.

What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?

*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*

Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.

"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Super Power Beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.

Splat.

The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”

"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.

In Mario, it is called a Zoomba, but if it was real, it would be a boomba.

What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.

Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?

Because he's a quadriplegic.

Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.

I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.

Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.

I fucked a Pokemon the other day. It is dead now.

What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.