Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get the milk and to get to the dark side.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Q: What do you call a zombie with no mouth?
A: Useless.
What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?
Hug his parents.
Imagine if Batman had a family reunion!
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
You're so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, you broke the correction.
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!
If stupidity was a superpower, BLESSEDBRIAN would be a MARVEL CHARACTER.
Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?
Because he's a quadriplegic.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
All Mia needs to destroy the evil young girl in Resident Evil 7 Biohazard, was using a pedophile instead of serum.
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
Person 1: How smart are you?
Person 2: Really smart.
Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?
Person 2: 1 ghost is left.
Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
