Voldemort jokes

What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?

Coldemort!

Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?

Because his snake bit it off!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.

Voldemort: Knock, knock.

Harry Potter: Who's there?

Voldemort: You know.

Harry Potter: You know who?

Voldemort: Exactly!

Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.

How did Voldemort lose his nose?

From uncontrolled Gold Mining!

What role does a leper play in the theater?

Voldemort!

A vampire goes to the bakery.

Vampire: "One bun, please."

Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"

Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."

My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?

Neo-Confederates all claim to be about "heritage" not "hate". Well, if your heritage consists of Kelly Clarkson, riding on siblings, and treating Donald Trump as if he's the second coming, then it really sucks to be you.