Plot jokes
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Someone is adding dirt to my garden!
The plot thickens!
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
Summary of Twilight in one sentence:
Bella hits on two guys, runs away. Edward glances to Jacob saying, "Go Fetch," and suddenly Bella's his.
Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?
50.
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
Grass.
Line (DYM 105)
riding (DYM 145).
Hairline.
Ichigo solos.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.