Father Jokes

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

oh wait i'm thinking of....

I heard there was a kidnapping

Don't worry he woke up

In the back of a van

It was his father's

Friend who was a priest

He was just bringing him to church

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays

Moby Dick's fathers name... Papa Boner.

Me tells dad joke orfen I want to here it me you wouldn't get it

On my 21st Birthday my mom told me I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child your going to to get something good and something you been looking forward to is what my mom said. Me my mom and my on;y friend celebrate my Birthday then we all went to sleep I woke up the next day I ask hey where my gift you said you got me. My mom said since your father left us you have have no father figure in your life. So this is your new step father the only thing it was my only friend.

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi arabias best pilot

The mailman daddy to drop the mail off. Me ( son ) I and tell my mommy daddy home. Mommy tells me you got no daddy, then I say I hear you always call the mailman daddy.

Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish Son: That’s too baaaaaad

if Germany is the father land and Russia is the mother land would WII just be domestic violence

on the first day of school, the teacher asked a student " what are your parent's names?" the student replied " my father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is smiling" the teacher said " are you kidding" the student said, "no kidding is my brother I am joking."

Why are black women dating white men? So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father

LITTLE JOHHNY WALKS INTO LIVING ROOM AND ASKING HIS PARENTS MOM DAD WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSSBREED A BULLDOG AND SHITZU. THE MOTHER AND FATHER SHRUGS AND SAYS WE HAV NO IDEA JOHNNY WHAT DO U GET AND LITTLE JOHHNY REPLIES YOU GET A BULLSHIT

What do you call an orphan who became a priest? Father-less

As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.

My Father touched me yesterday i called him a priest

a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.

Hey mom I'm back from the circus parade, it was amazing! first came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, And then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion, oh and what came after her? Asked the mother, Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee said the boy.

My Dad was mowing the grass today, I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.