My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one get one free
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
Moby Dick's fathers name... Papa Boner.
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
The daughter walks up to her father and he asks him “Dad can I ask you something?” The father says “Of course, what’s your question?” The daughter replies and asks “How do you feel about abortion?” The father says “Why don’t you ask your sister?” The daughter replies “I don’t have a sis-“
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
My Father touched me yesterday i called him a priest
