A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.
Son: “mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman ?» Mother: «No Son, unless if he’s gay» Son : «So your friend is gay ?» Mother with herself : «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me» Mother: «Mmm… Yes» Father loudly: «YES!!!» Mother: «What in the hell ? Are you gay ?» Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me» Father: «No what are saying ? I’m just talking with myself»
A few hours later
Mother: «I will go to visit my mother» Father: «Me too I will go to visit my mother» Son: «Not me too I will go to stud with my friends»
the mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying : «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».
The End :D
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse’s pain to the father’s nervous system. He agrees and the doctors turn to dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
My mom show me that she could deep throat a banana. I ask how you know how to do that. My mom said I practice on your step father.
why does aaron cry at night his alcoholic father beats him
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father & mother went to bed one night and didn’t hear or see Timmy come with them. They all get under the covers Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood curdling scream. “MOMMY WATCH OUT THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!” And he proceeds to say, “DON’T WORRY MOMMY I’LL GET IT!” And he takes his fathers penis in his mouth and chomps down. Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
What do you call a octupus whos father left octobyeyo
Why can’t a orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day becuse they have no parents
me: "you wanna see my dad" some kid: "yeah?" me: "close your eyes and he will appear" some kid: “he ain’t appearing" me: “sorry i thought he would appear for you. he won’t appear for me” *the kid laughs”
moral: not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on 🙃
What’s and orphans favorite holidays mothers and Father’s Day
I was at a friends place yesterday, and… There was A mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep. So I looked in the brothers room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. “Incest aside. You guys make a cute family.” I started, “So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?” They stopped instantly and went to sleep. “Thank you.” I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
My mom show me that she could deep throat a banana. I ask my mom how you know how to do that. My mom said I practice on your new step father.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, " Dad how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big “dick”? her father replied " honey, you should have watch me last night - it was inside my mouth, does it cycle now?"
A child ask his father “ how do you get pink eye?” Son I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes. Then the son asks “How did I get Fungi?” As the father was about to answer. The boy says “Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?” ———-Fungeye
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back… The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
What is your summer name? Hot 🥵
Why did the kid name Jeff become gay because he grow up with out a father figure hahaha I love dark humor
A young innocent little girl is playing hopscotch and she says you step on a crack you brake you’re mamas back and then she step on a crack so her mothers back proceeded to brake slowly then she said you step on a line you brake your dadas spine but the neighbours spine broke and in happiness the thought to be previouse father gets in his car and drive through the garage door…