Family jokes
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
Your mom gay.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
Memes
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't run home.
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD