Family jokes
Yo mama's such a milf, she deserves a tongue punch in the fart box.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me, so they can get adopted.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
I look at your bro.
And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t hit the home button.
Girl: I like girls.
Dad: Ok?
Girl 2: I like girls too.
Dad: Okay, so who likes boys?!
Boy: I do.
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Louie's parents tried this.