Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
Family Jokes
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
His name is "Daddy!" HELP!
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
