Family jokes
Two Asian people have a black baby.
Something wrong.
*Son comes out as gay*
Me: What's 17 more years?
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell him, "Clap your hands until your mom comes."
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
What's the best thing about beating up orphans?
They can't tell their parents.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
It can’t find home.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
You were born out of your dad.
My sister reminds me of 911: one moan of "OMG" got everyone's attention.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.