Family jokes
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
Louie's parents tried this.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
Memes
Girl: I like girls.
Dad: Ok?
Girl 2: I like girls too.
Dad: Okay, so who likes boys?!
Boy: I do.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t hit the home button.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me, so they can get adopted.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
I look at your bro.
And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
Yo mama is so dumb, she'll watch edited Peppa Pig all day long.
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.