Family jokes
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
So relatable Tbh.
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?
One of the two actually came back.😂
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't go to home plate.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X? Because it didn't have a home button.
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.