Family jokes

What do you think of your mom? I can do it.

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see their parents.

Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.

Your mama is so ugly whenever she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

Why do orphans love to play family?

Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.

What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?

I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.

What do you call a duck with no head?

Your mom gay.

Me: Hey, are your parents home?

Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!

Why did the orphan go to church?

So that they had someone to call father.

Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?

Daddy never came back with the milk.

Why do orphans go to church?

Because they can call someone "father."

Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.

My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.

If you’re bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"