Family

Family jokes

Orphan

I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.

College

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.

Memes

Baseball

Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.

Grandma

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

Skill

What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?

His hide-and-seek skills.

Name

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)

Orphan

Why can't orphans be kidnapped?

Because most kidnappers use a family van.

Orphan

Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?

Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.

Permission

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

Auntie

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

Dryer

Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.