Family jokes
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
Yo momma is so hungry that she ate your peanuts!
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
You're mum.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Movies now
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Yo mama's such a milf, she deserves a tongue punch in the fart box.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me, so they can get adopted.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
I look at your bro.
And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t hit the home button.
Girl: I like girls.
Dad: Ok?
Girl 2: I like girls too.
Dad: Okay, so who likes boys?!
Boy: I do.
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍