Family jokes
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
Why are orphans so bad at dodge ball?
They don't have a home to run to.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.
The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
Baby (DYM 108).
Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹
Ur mom gay.
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
Hi, Dad.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.