Failure jokes
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
I tried to catch fog, I mist...
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
The belt broke.
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.
Why did the orphan fail all his classes?
He couldn’t do his homework.
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"
(Me): "Suicide."
Your life. That's all.