Failure jokes
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
Why did the computer go to bed?
It needed to crash.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
I got an F in science. F stands for Fantastic!
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.
That joke didn't land well, did it?
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.