Failure jokes
Don't worry about missing a shot after yelling "Kobe". He didn't make it either.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.
Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...
They call me an elevator because I let people down.
Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
What happens when you suck?
You succ.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.