Failure jokes

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.

What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.

The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

I wish I was dead like my jokes.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.

Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat.

Wanna hear a joooooooke?

Your life.

What's worse than funny condom fails?

Jake Paul.

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

What's the definition of disappointment?

Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.