Failure jokes
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
I FUCKING FAILED THE FUCKING CHALLENGE. FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCKKKKK
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
Your life. That's all.
You: I want my mama.
Me: Soz, you can't even get one.
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!