Failure jokes

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?

They crash and burn.

Why did the gym close down?

Because it just didn't work out.

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.

The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

I wish I was dead like my jokes.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Wanna hear a joooooooke?

Your life.

Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.

Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

What's worse than funny condom fails?

Jake Paul.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.

What's the definition of disappointment?

Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.