Failure jokes

Why did the gym close down?

Because it just didn't work out.

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?

We were both caused by broken rubber.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.

The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

I wish I was dead like my jokes.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.

Wanna hear a joooooooke?

Your life.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat.

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

What's worse than funny condom fails?

Jake Paul.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.