Failure jokes

What's the definition of disappointment?

Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.

Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.

Your life. That's all.

I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.

They brought it over but spilled it on me.

I said that was a udder failure!

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

What do you call a failure in another language?

Me.

Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!

Please follow me at Mary.cristal03 on TikTok.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...

I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

I'm not completely useless....

I can be used as a bad example!

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.

TAOST, you didn't submit it, you fuck!

Health commercials be like:

Serious side effects can cause:

Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!

I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.