Failing jokes
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭
Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they're missing two towers.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..." The room was full of arm amputees.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.
Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.
Why does USA suck at Clash Royale? They already lost two towers.