Failing jokes
Why are we still fighting in darkness?
"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
"Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?"
"It didn't have the guts!"
Wife: I want to deep throat your dick.
Husband: let’s do this.
Wife: April foogjhmgkjgyukgyukfygkutkutkygfku5t!
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
Me: uses the crucifix.
Rush: Ahahahahahahæanananana!
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
Yo mama so stupid, she failed a survey.
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.
You smell like you farted hard. A, B, Honor Roll, all F’s, you retarded!
Why did the orphan fail all his classes?
He couldn’t do his homework.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.