Failing jokes

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

What does a relationship and suicide have in common?

I always fail on committing.

If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

What are you good at?

Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.

Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight

You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.

Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.

What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?

The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.

It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.

My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

He's not really dead, his update failed.

What's white and bloody?

Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.

Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

He never learned to mix the colors.