Failing jokes
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
What do feminists do when they fail at something?
Blame men for sexism and misogyny.
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
Why did the orphan fail in baseball?
He couldn't find home.
What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
Your Roblox friend counts to 10, but she doesn't count to "too." Then Roblox says: "Damn. Your Roblox friend can't count."
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.