Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
He's not really dead, his update failed.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
