Face Jokes

how do you help a depressed kid face their fears... u count to 3 and say jump>

Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?" His mother replies "to make myself beautiful Johnny." A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"

You: Say "addicted" after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...? Person: Addicted. You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted... *laughs* (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

why did cinderella get kicked out of disney land because she sat on Pinocchios face and said lie bastatd lie

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry. -

Until I threw a watermelon in her face

~Robin

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. -- I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID doesn't recognize me

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.

My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me, because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.

Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...