Face

Face Jokes

Flower

A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.

To not be outdone, the blond retorts:

"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"

Difference

What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.

  • 0
  • Fridge

    I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

    I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

    Trash

    Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.

    Sperm

    What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?

    A face full of sperm.

    Dad

    I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"

    Acne

    How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.

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  • Parent

    When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

    Jack

    Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.

    With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.

    Forehead

    Yo, forehead is so big...the photo on yo driver's license says "to be continued on the back."

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  • Incest

    The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.

    Condom

    So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"

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  • Body Part

    I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.

    Penis

    What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?

    Finding out it was traced.