Face Jokes

A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.

The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"

The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"

Why did they call off the leper hockey game?

There was a face-off in the corner.

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.

Just not for long!

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

WJE iceberg 2.0

The image is an iceberg diagram with several tiers. At the top, it lists 'Jokes,' 'Memes,' 'Community Guidelines,' and 'Mods.' The next level includes 'BP,' 'Matt,' 'Dagger,' 'SaH,' 'Anons,' 'Jake,' and 'School.' Further down, the layers show various people and controversies, like 'BP drama,' 'SW,' 'KMeet,' 'Jit & Lil AG,' 'Opal,' 'AG Family,' and 'WJE Crew & WJE Lounge.' The lowest levels mention incidents and names like 'A77,' 'Hacking incident,' and 'Dagger's face rev'. There are also small cartoon faces on the right side of the diagram with each descending level.

Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)

Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.

I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.

What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?

"We need to circumcise that one."

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?

They have both had a few strokes.

What is the point of buttchins?

To catch flies.

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.

It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

Why do orphans look so ugly?

Because they have a face not even a mother could love.

I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"