Face jokes
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Draggin’.
Draggin’ who?
Draggin’ these balls around yo’ face.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.
The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.