Face jokes
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"
The girl says, "Just like your face."
Your face looks like my butt, but it looks like you.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
How do you see past that forehead?
Your chin is where I went on ski vacation.
Ur face.
You're so ugly your mirror shattered.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.