Expectation jokes

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔

Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!

I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.

How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.

What does Marine stand for?

Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.

In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.

Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.

I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

What’s 12 inch long, purple, and makes women scream??

Cot death!

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be expect bagels.

Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.

All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.

I'm dying... sike, I lied. You thought I died!

No joke.

What's 9 + 10? 21.

What's 9 - 10? 21?

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.

I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.

Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅

What sayd the man to the woman??

Go to the kitchen lol.