Expectation jokes
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like? Depends...
Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((
Roses are red, chocolate is brown,
I expect nothing and still get let down!
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow! What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?