Expectation jokes
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.
Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
I’m like an escalator; I always let people down.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.
"Me," Wait, what...ever.
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
Knock knock. Who’s there? We ask the questions!!!!!!!!