Expectation jokes
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃
When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
Memes
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
Knock knock. Who’s there? We ask the questions!!!!!!!!
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.
"Me," Wait, what...ever.
I’m like an escalator; I always let people down.
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.