My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.
"Me," Wait, what...ever.
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.
All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.
What's 9 + 10? 21.
What's 9 - 10? 21?
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
No joke.
I'm dying... sike, I lied. You thought I died!
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
What sayd the man to the woman??
Go to the kitchen lol.
When your sister asks you to entertain her, you don't!
Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."
Then it all happened.
The fly dropped six inches.
The fish came up and caught the fly.
The bear came out and caught the fish.
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.
The mouse went for the sandwich.
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
