Expectation jokes

Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.

Disappointing.

(Girl) Do you ever blink?

(Doll) (No reply).

(Girl) You look like a mannequin!

(Doll) (No reply).

It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.

As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!

Jeff crosses the US border.

The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.

Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."

How do you disappoint people in Africa?

Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃

When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔

I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.

How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.

Knock knock. Who’s there? We ask the questions!!!!!!!!

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.

I’m like an escalator; I always let people down.

"Bully," omg, that girl is so ugly.

"Me," Wait, what...ever.