Everyone jokes
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Yo mama so fat, when she went sky diving everyone screamed "METEOR!!!"
Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
Hello everyone, to the first Hollow Knight meeting!
Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.