Everyone jokes
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Well shit
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.
Yo mama so fat, when she went sky diving everyone screamed "METEOR!!!"
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
Hello everyone, to the first Hollow Knight meeting!
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.