Everyone has a good heart they just don't know what to do with it. I say give some one some love. Hate is soooooo stupid love is soooo smart!
Hey I got some dominos pizza salad breadsticks and chicken wings for everyone yeah but make sure ms Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up because if she do I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A Pedo Peter.)
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Why did the titanic sink because everyone played Simon says
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
Your so fat, you drank an invisibility potion and everyone could still see you!
me: "the villain has a point you know"
everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
JFK tried meditating he told everyone he is very open-minded.
"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me" I say. For some reason everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage
Teacher says okay class today were gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up Little Johnny how about you go first. Little jonny: " I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
New teacher:everyone stand up if u think you are stupid.
Student: stands up
Teacher: why did u stand up?
Student: I hate seeing u stand up there by yourself
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly Bully 2: Look in a mirror. Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Hope everyone is having a good day ❤️
What is fun ? Everyone
student: why does everyone hate me
another student: Because U got The A last night
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t Remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said “your about to become history”. I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"
