Everyone

Everyone jokes

Apology

    • Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

    And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

  • 5
    • Ad

    Bus

    • A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.

    Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."

  • 1
    • Ad
    Everyone memes

    Suicide

    • Why do transgender people have high rates of suicide?

    Because they can't accept themselves for who they are, but they want everyone else to accept them.

  • 0
    • Ad

    Man

    • This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"

    The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.

    Insult

    • Gwen, don't worry, everyone hates you, by the way! Have anything to say? Then who cares? You can't stop me.

    Unknown person is going to give you a hint of who hates you...we were in a club, a meeting...btw this is you!

    [Image of Gwen]

    Later, Bitch!!!!!!!!

    Ad

    Daughter

    • It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.

    Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.

    Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰

    Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏

    Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓

    Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:

    This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕

  • 2
    • Ad

    Ice Cream

    • Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!

    Chicken

    • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Because these jokes are not funny.

    Here's why the chicken crossed the road...

    The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.

    The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.

    The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)

    Ad

    Acceptance

    • Why do trannies have such high rates of suicide?

    Because they want everyone to accept them, but they can't accept themselves.

  • 0
    • Ad

    Head

    • Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.

    Liver

    • Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?

    'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.

    Pickpocket

    • Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

    The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

    "I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

    "I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

    The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

    "I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

  • 1
    • Ad